Thoughts

If I am honest with myself… I am tired of looking, searching, figuring out, waiting… for love. I’m trying to see it before it happens, but right now my vision is a little weary. Tired of the disappointment and constant frustration of.. yet another one biting the dust.. tired of insincerity and false promises from those who never have the intention of staying around. Clearly my picker is wrong… cause I often think I am difficult to love or something. I know I have my qualms and my issues but this can’t be life. Tired of emotionally empty nights spent next to men who don’t wanna treat me right. Tired of giving pieces of my heart on the hopes of flying on the wings of love. I’m just tired. At the verge of… giving up.. I just want the one who is meant for me.. where he at?

Advertisement

Today, I love me more

Today I love me more

I love me when I am hardest to love

Often feeling undesirable and undeserving

I would tend to try to please

But that just took away from my being

Giving too much of my energy away for free

Today I love me more

Choosing me in each and every way

No longer afraid to speak up

Sharing what’s on my mind’s eye

giving me the best that I got

for I now know that I am enough

And regardless of hurts, pains, disappointments..

I am worthy of love

Today I love me more

Filled with love granted to me by God himself

He created me in His image

So how dare I not like what I see

In His reflection

Quieting out voices of

Those who never saw me

Those who were fighting with their own demons

No longer accepting

Others pains as the definition of me

Today I’m loving me more

Living the life that God has granted me

Walking into the Favor God has placed

On my life

No longer afraid to allow

My inner light

To illuminate the sky around me

Casting out darkness

And walking with my head held high

Lifted

Shining bright

Because my life is worth living

Today, I love me more…

Acknowledging my own dopeness

Being proud of it

‘Cause honestly, I know that I am

Lit

I am dope

I am Queen

Dare I say, I’m the shiiiiit

So, today, I love me more

And that’s just the way it is..

Untitled

I am not a perfect soul

It seems imperfections in my middle name

And I do not claim

To know everything about this thing called love

But what I do know is that I am willing to

No longer allow the pain of

Past love’s, well past hurts to

Keep me from

An incredible

Love

I no longer want to hold on to pains endless story

That keeps me in tears and sorrow

No longer accepting less than I deserve

Because

The pain isn’t worth living life in fear

and walking away from love’s knock at the door..

with each passing day the knocks grow louder

And desire…

Consumes my being

I am not perfect..

And though past lovers left their scorned scents underneath my skin

I no longer will pretend that I do not

Desire love’s fresh fragrance again..

Therefore, I will allow myself to be open

Wide open with arms stretched out…

My face painted with a smile

Welcoming the enduring and purity of love’s new beginnings..

My promise to me

I will love me

I will love me day in and day out

In the here and now

I will love everything about my being

Always appreciative of mind, soul, and energy

Complimenting me daily

Opening my mind to new ways of showing me love

I will loooove me some me

Never having to rely on another

To attempt to see my worth

Because I already see it

Walking in the light of it every day

Because my inner light is brilliantly shining and showing me the way

It took me nearly 30 years to make this promise to myself

To see what others have tried to show me over time..

I will loooove on me so deeep

Without any question and without doubt

No hesitation and with ease

Because loving me is the only way to be free

To clear my mind of mental anxieties

To calm my extra crazy down a bit

I will love me

Because I am deserving of love.

She is beautiful

She is beautiful

Bushy eyebrows

Messy hair

Acne prone face

Glasses wearer

Imperfections according to society’s standards

But to her own, she is beautiful

She is queen in her own right

No longer afraid to

Shine out loud

She. Is. Beautiful.

Funny, genuine

Kind and crazy

She loves too hard

And is afraid of being left, abandoned

But she fights for herself

Daily

Never giving up on

Who she is becoming

She

Is

Beautiful

A mess of every kind

Knocked kneed

Jiggly

Big and bodacious

Ass phat and crooked toes

But she is beautiful

Her entire soul glows

Her light shines brighter than she realizes

Took her many years to finally

See this

She has cried many tears

To finally believe this

Walking away from the

Fear that paralyzed her

She is beautiful

Talented and gifted

Honest and worthy

She deserves her own love

Because she was made in love

The very image of God fills her up

Breathing life into lungs

Fearfully and wonderfully made

She is beautiful

I am beautiful

And I will never forget this again.

Vulnerability

This is the poem that I started to work on. I am going to attempt to finish it now.

Vulnerability

Putting on this face of uncertainty

Cuz I am uncertain

Eyes filled with tear drops

An empty aching feeling

Fills me

I just want to be completely free

I just want someone to truly see me

See me past all the hurts and insecurities

and take me as I am

Not who I could be

or who I use to be

but who I am right now

Through time,

growth comes

However, in this moment..

time sets still

and I am stuck in the questionable state

of disillusions

my heart aches from

constant misuse..

and I am growing tired

weary..

heavy burdened…

When will I be  set free

so that I may finally sing

MY song..

tired of whispering..

and sitting in the background..

It is time to sing MY song..

arrange these lyrical melodies

that one may know MY story..

in moments like this

where all

vulnerability sets in..

i feel..everything..

I just hope someone

is there to listen..