I am. Part 1

I am woman

I am movement

Calm, soothing vibrations

Gently swaying back and forth

I am an inviting energy

Creative

Momentous

Surrounding everything with love

While spreading my light so others can shine

I am the embodiment of

I am

I am woman

Amazing and kind

Gentle and warm

Gangsta and real

I am Queen

Standing with my head held high

Walking in majesty

Rocking these purple locs

Cause

Royalty is written in my

DNA

My blueprint for living

My vision, my destiny

I am woman

Unearthed

Bringing forth light unto others

Allowing my gifts to uplift and shine

No longer sitting on the sidelines

No longer accepting less than

Because I am an expression

Of more

Always recognizing that

Always asserting that

I am deserving of more

Therefore I give unto myself

More

I am woman

Proud, Black, and Beautiful

I laugh, I cry, I sing, I pray,

Never allowing my crown

To be removed

I am woman

I am all that I am

And then some

I am enough

I am every vision of love

Because love lives in my being

It runs through my veins

It covers me

I am woman

I am movement

Calm and gangsta

Royalty and love

A moving force

A gentle touch

The sweetest smile

And warming hugs

I am woman.

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Newness

i must admit..

i havent smiled.. like this..

in quite some time..

your energy

wraps around me

pulling me..

soo into you..

this new found..

this.. willingness to..

be open..

this..

ability..

to share with you..

secret things..

and you not.. judge me.

got me rethinking..some things.

cuz once upon a time..

i said..

i would never..

allow another to

get this close to me..

again.. breaking down..

all barriers.

getting deep beneath my skin..

you did that.

how..

i dont know.

but.. i dont mind..

its almost like.

u appeared..

just in the nick of time.

and i am tho.rough.ly..

enjoying..

these..

moments.. of…us..

these… moments of..

gaining trust..

these.. moments..

i wouldnt want to share them with anyone else..

thank you…

for..

the continued..

smiles.

I am Dope

I am dope

I am that fly and that funky fresh

I am all that and then some

I am

More than you’d like to admit

My dopeness gets you lit

Gets you hype

And will set you right

And that’s when you realize

That my shine doesn’t

Dim. Your. Light

I am dope

A woman of brilliant mind

Use to be afraid of this shine

But God said that’s alright

So now I shine wherever I go

Glowing to help others grow

Moving and grooving

Perfecting this poetic flow

allowing my inner beauty to show

I am dope

Filled with beauty and wonder

Gifted and talented

I am kind and genuine

Authentic and amazing

Love is what I live and breathe

And in my dopeness

I am Queen

Royalty with an extra side a gangsta

so it’s best

To come correct

When you step to me

Approach me with respect and

I’ll offer reciprocity

I am dope

Full of flavor and pizzazz

I am hypnotic and enticing

And at times I am feisty

I am friend never foe

And in my eyes

Love is what I behold

I am dope

A spiritual movement

A helping hand

A healer

A lover

A poet

A creative

A mind glower

A giver of life

A body roller

A shoop shooer

A quiet smile

A calming touch

A support system

An inspirational being

A woman

Walking in the greatness

That lives in me..

Most of all

I am me

Embracing all of me

Sassy and classy

Moody and anxious

Often asking for forgiveness of flaws and faults

Imperfection in its greatest form

Human

But…

I. Am. Dope.

That’s all I can be..

Enough

You are enough

More than

And good

And although you are often misunderstood

Your light shines…

Even if you do not see it,

even if you cannot believe it

Believe this,

You are enough

Special in every kind of way

An energy of love, hope, peace, joy

Runs all through your veins

You are more than enough

So wear your smile

As your crown

Always walking with your

Head. Held. High.

Living your life on purpose

While walking in your purpose

You are good enough

So don’t you ever doubt

Your ability to be great

It’s time for you to

Shine. Out. Loud

You are enough

More than,

And good

Please never forget that.

She is beautiful

She is beautiful

Bushy eyebrows

Messy hair

Acne prone face

Glasses wearer

Imperfections according to society’s standards

But to her own, she is beautiful

She is queen in her own right

No longer afraid to

Shine out loud

She. Is. Beautiful.

Funny, genuine

Kind and crazy

She loves too hard

And is afraid of being left, abandoned

But she fights for herself

Daily

Never giving up on

Who she is becoming

She

Is

Beautiful

A mess of every kind

Knocked kneed

Jiggly

Big and bodacious

Ass phat and crooked toes

But she is beautiful

Her entire soul glows

Her light shines brighter than she realizes

Took her many years to finally

See this

She has cried many tears

To finally believe this

Walking away from the

Fear that paralyzed her

She is beautiful

Talented and gifted

Honest and worthy

She deserves her own love

Because she was made in love

The very image of God fills her up

Breathing life into lungs

Fearfully and wonderfully made

She is beautiful

I am beautiful

And I will never forget this again.

Renewing My Mind

Since the last time I wrote, which was a couple of days ago. I realize that I have to keep my weightloss in the forefront of my mind. When I get the urge to go to Sonic or even Wafflehouse, I am starting to think about ‘will and how will this decision help me with my goal of being healthy?’ Then the thought fades away, I go downstairs and make me a salad. I had a salad last night and though it was just plain, it tasted so yummy. I’m guess because of the freshness. Instead of using a creaming dressing, I used a light Italian dressing. My tastebubs did backflips. lol So, now I am realizing that I have to keep it constantly in my forefront. Especially with food decisions. I crave all kinds of foods. Wings, chicken phillies, Peach punch, and CAKES! I love sweets. I know I have to limit my sweet intake. or find at least find a smaller portioned size that is less detrimental to me. I dont want to do anything that will sabotage my efforts. I feel like I am really on a new run with this. Now if only I will get the exercising. I will. Im just going to walk first. Then when I get to Cali, hopefully I will be able to do Water Aerobics. I did it once before, and I loved it.

While I am working on my weight.. myself. I am kinda glad I am single. Especially since I am moving back to Cali. I dont want to give someone a Half Me. If I am going to be with someone, I would like to be whole. I dont want to go through all the stuff ive been through with relationships again. Make all the wrong decisions..again. I dont mind my singleness. It is actually comforting. I am being allowed to really focus on myself so that I can grow into my potential. I am focusing on the things I want to achieve and my health. Losing weight has alot to do with the mind. The mind can trick you and have you believing things about yourself that arent true. Different situations in life can also alter that way you think about yourself. This time in my life is about me. Self growth, Self love, Spiritual growth… cuz its going to take the God in me to overcome this. I am truly glad that my eyes are finally becoming open to this. Im taking it step by step and day by day.

I know I am going to succeed. I have visioned it. Now it is time to rock n roll with it.

~J~

It is a New Day

For the past couple of days.. my body has been telling me no. So has my mind for that matter. I have been achy and have had many headaches. Last night, I was drifting to sleep and thinking, this has to do with my weight and what I am eating. It has gotten to the point where it hurts to lay down a certain way. It was this morning as I was getting up, I decided that Enough was ENOUGH! I hace had enough of this unhealthy being I have created for myself. I want to be able to breathe regularly when I walk up the stair in the house. I want to be able to sleep how I want without fear of something happening. Most of all I want to live my life without having to take Blood Pressure medicine anymore. ( I cant wait for that day)

While I was reading this very inspirational blog, I got re-inspired. I must take control of my health. My eating habits have been thrown out the window as of late. As I was driving home, I thought about all the money I have wasted with eating fast food. All I can do is SMH. It has gotten to the point where Fast Food dont even taste that good to me any more. I went to Sonic the other day to get a chilicheese coney, and I damn near threw up. My body is tired of the mess, and frankly, so am I. It is time to start..again.. eating healthy. I need to get the proper amount of fruits and vegatables in my system to try to reverse this spiral of doom in my life. I remember when I was really on this thing hard and strong, that when I make healthier choices, I felt a whole lot better about myself. I felt extremely great when I lost 6 pounds in a week. Its time to get back to me.

I had been focused on all the foolishness surrounding me that I had forgotten to take care of my temple. Today is a new day though. Enough is Enough and I am ready for change. I am not going to start when I get to California, I am starting today. I am going to drink more water, I will work out this evening when I get home from work. I will eat more fruit, more veggies, lessed processed foods. I need to feed my body goodness instead of gunk and junk. Today is the day, I am ready. I know it is a struggle and a long journey, but I am taking this one step at a time. I will encourage myself. I have my accountability partner in Cali for when I return so that I may continue to stay on track. Enough is a Enough.  Its time to go to War!