Fear pt. 1

There are parts of me

That want to scream

Out. Loud.

I love you…

But I can’t, I won’t,

Because it’s not what I want to do right now…

Surrounded by memories of

Past loves and

Frankly, baby,

I’m tired

Exhausted for the giving of myself

On this notion that

They. Were. Love..

They were, but just not with me..

You see…

I have many years

And many tears

That have created their own wall of

Caution around my heart

And even though

You are built to last

You are an unexpected blessing

And I enjoy every second with you

I refuse to

Say those words again

Cause I’m tired.

And I’m terrified…

so although I want to

Scream out loud

I love you,

I won’t.

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Love After Love

I sometimes find it difficult to

Believe in love after love

Because

Time after time

I have tried

And failed

This last time damn near broke me

Pain felt

Unimaginably

Suffering in the silence of

What I thought could be

But it couldn’t

And it wouldn’t

So I cried

Many nights to myself

Wondering if there was something

I could have done differently

Truth is

Yea… but the end result most likely

Would have been the same

I do not hate or regret

I cherish and reflect

Because I gave love

It was honest and true

And it helped me to grow

Into another version of beautiful

Learned life lessons that I can apply

Whenever I decide to try

Again

And no matter what

No matter how difficult

I will believe in

Love after love…

Fin

Magic

You. Are. Magic.

You are Mysterious and Majestic

A rare being

A Legend living

A force to be reckoned with

Goddess and Queen

You are spiritual.

You are a cosmic entity

You are the elements

created in and with all the

Brilliance and energy

You are music

The written lyrics

The melody and harmony

You are vocals and all instrumentation

You are dance

Freedom

Joyous movements

Expression

Vibrant

Colorful

Gifted

Extraordinary

You. Are. Love

Wholesome

Amazing

Patient and kind

Forgiving

Daily forgiveness of self

For settling for less

You are peace

Moving within

The serenity of your being

You are light

Brightly glowing

like black girl magic

You lit and you the shit

Humbly walking

In your truth

You. Are. Magic.

Never allow anyone to tell you otherwise

I am. Part 1

I am woman

I am movement

Calm, soothing vibrations

Gently swaying back and forth

I am an inviting energy

Creative

Momentous

Surrounding everything with love

While spreading my light so others can shine

I am the embodiment of

I am

I am woman

Amazing and kind

Gentle and warm

Gangsta and real

I am Queen

Standing with my head held high

Walking in majesty

Rocking these purple locs

Cause

Royalty is written in my

DNA

My blueprint for living

My vision, my destiny

I am woman

Unearthed

Bringing forth light unto others

Allowing my gifts to uplift and shine

No longer sitting on the sidelines

No longer accepting less than

Because I am an expression

Of more

Always recognizing that

Always asserting that

I am deserving of more

Therefore I give unto myself

More

I am woman

Proud, Black, and Beautiful

I laugh, I cry, I sing, I pray,

Never allowing my crown

To be removed

I am woman

I am all that I am

And then some

I am enough

I am every vision of love

Because love lives in my being

It runs through my veins

It covers me

I am woman

I am movement

Calm and gangsta

Royalty and love

A moving force

A gentle touch

The sweetest smile

And warming hugs

I am woman.

Newness

i must admit..

i havent smiled.. like this..

in quite some time..

your energy

wraps around me

pulling me..

soo into you..

this new found..

this.. willingness to..

be open..

this..

ability..

to share with you..

secret things..

and you not.. judge me.

got me rethinking..some things.

cuz once upon a time..

i said..

i would never..

allow another to

get this close to me..

again.. breaking down..

all barriers.

getting deep beneath my skin..

you did that.

how..

i dont know.

but.. i dont mind..

its almost like.

u appeared..

just in the nick of time.

and i am tho.rough.ly..

enjoying..

these..

moments.. of…us..

these… moments of..

gaining trust..

these.. moments..

i wouldnt want to share them with anyone else..

thank you…

for..

the continued..

smiles.

Peace, Be Still!

I cannot sleep

Acid reflux and anxious thinking

Keep me

From resting

Gently

Sipping water

To ease the pain of

Acid

Creeping. Up. My.

Esophagus.

Attempting to pray

To quiet the anxious thinking

Because I did not debrief my crazy

And fear is trying to

Creep. Back. In

Unwilling to release its hold on me

Attempting to keep me in

Captivity

A prisoner of my own mind

Future tripping

Scared of the unknown

Afraid of… what if’s and

Fear knows that

So it taunts me with images

That cause me to question…

Me.

Causing me to react

In fear of… what if…

Rather than seeing clearly

The picture that is in front of me

The life that I am walking daily

Living in the present

Smiling in the present

Loving in the present

But fear… has reminded me of

What if’s…

and so now I am up…

attempting to pray silent prayers

To quiet out my crazy

To shut down the noisiness of

Fear

To challenge my faulty thinking

To stop myself of a spiral of anxious driven living.

To tell the anxious part of me

That it’s okay, we are okay. Chill the eff out.

To remind myself of who God is in me and that

He did not give me the spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind.

To be able to love out loud and live my life filled with purpose

I am praying for peace

For quieted thoughts and

Gentle reminders of the love that surrounds me

Because I no longer will allow

Fear to consume me…

to use and abuse me

To keep me from being happy and free

~ JJ Nicole

I am Dope

I am dope

I am that fly and that funky fresh

I am all that and then some

I am

More than you’d like to admit

My dopeness gets you lit

Gets you hype

And will set you right

And that’s when you realize

That my shine doesn’t

Dim. Your. Light

I am dope

A woman of brilliant mind

Use to be afraid of this shine

But God said that’s alright

So now I shine wherever I go

Glowing to help others grow

Moving and grooving

Perfecting this poetic flow

allowing my inner beauty to show

I am dope

Filled with beauty and wonder

Gifted and talented

I am kind and genuine

Authentic and amazing

Love is what I live and breathe

And in my dopeness

I am Queen

Royalty with an extra side a gangsta

so it’s best

To come correct

When you step to me

Approach me with respect and

I’ll offer reciprocity

I am dope

Full of flavor and pizzazz

I am hypnotic and enticing

And at times I am feisty

I am friend never foe

And in my eyes

Love is what I behold

I am dope

A spiritual movement

A helping hand

A healer

A lover

A poet

A creative

A mind glower

A giver of life

A body roller

A shoop shooer

A quiet smile

A calming touch

A support system

An inspirational being

A woman

Walking in the greatness

That lives in me..

Most of all

I am me

Embracing all of me

Sassy and classy

Moody and anxious

Often asking for forgiveness of flaws and faults

Imperfection in its greatest form

Human

But…

I. Am. Dope.

That’s all I can be..

Enough

You are enough

More than

And good

And although you are often misunderstood

Your light shines…

Even if you do not see it,

even if you cannot believe it

Believe this,

You are enough

Special in every kind of way

An energy of love, hope, peace, joy

Runs all through your veins

You are more than enough

So wear your smile

As your crown

Always walking with your

Head. Held. High.

Living your life on purpose

While walking in your purpose

You are good enough

So don’t you ever doubt

Your ability to be great

It’s time for you to

Shine. Out. Loud

You are enough

More than,

And good

Please never forget that.

Today, I love me more

Today I love me more

I love me when I am hardest to love

Often feeling undesirable and undeserving

I would tend to try to please

But that just took away from my being

Giving too much of my energy away for free

Today I love me more

Choosing me in each and every way

No longer afraid to speak up

Sharing what’s on my mind’s eye

giving me the best that I got

for I now know that I am enough

And regardless of hurts, pains, disappointments..

I am worthy of love

Today I love me more

Filled with love granted to me by God himself

He created me in His image

So how dare I not like what I see

In His reflection

Quieting out voices of

Those who never saw me

Those who were fighting with their own demons

No longer accepting

Others pains as the definition of me

Today I’m loving me more

Living the life that God has granted me

Walking into the Favor God has placed

On my life

No longer afraid to allow

My inner light

To illuminate the sky around me

Casting out darkness

And walking with my head held high

Lifted

Shining bright

Because my life is worth living

Today, I love me more…

Acknowledging my own dopeness

Being proud of it

‘Cause honestly, I know that I am

Lit

I am dope

I am Queen

Dare I say, I’m the shiiiiit

So, today, I love me more

And that’s just the way it is..