Thoughts

If I am honest with myself… I am tired of looking, searching, figuring out, waiting… for love. I’m trying to see it before it happens, but right now my vision is a little weary. Tired of the disappointment and constant frustration of.. yet another one biting the dust.. tired of insincerity and false promises from those who never have the intention of staying around. Clearly my picker is wrong… cause I often think I am difficult to love or something. I know I have my qualms and my issues but this can’t be life. Tired of emotionally empty nights spent next to men who don’t wanna treat me right. Tired of giving pieces of my heart on the hopes of flying on the wings of love. I’m just tired. At the verge of… giving up.. I just want the one who is meant for me.. where he at?

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See it before you see it

Tonight I listened to one of my favorite singer and musicians Avery Sunshine. I LOVE her so much and she is a great inspiration to me. She shared a song that she wrote before she met her husband who is also awesome. As she was introducing the song, she stated for those who are looking for love 🙌🏽(me) you gotta see it before you see it. That spoke to me. Saturday, May 2nd is my 35th birthday. I had hoped to be married and popping by now but other plans and life happens. However, no matter how many disappointments I encounter with dating and relationships, I still believe and desire love. I believe that love is for me. I believe marriage is for me. So I will take Avery’s testimony and word of wisdom and see it now while continuing in prayer over my future forever boo. I have written plenty of poems about love. But never one that truly speaks what I see into existence. Well.. maybe one. I am emotionally writing this message but y’all get the gist. Gotta see it before I see it. Speak life into it. Speak it and will it into existence.

Love After Love

I sometimes find it difficult to

Believe in love after love

Because

Time after time

I have tried

And failed

This last time damn near broke me

Pain felt

Unimaginably

Suffering in the silence of

What I thought could be

But it couldn’t

And it wouldn’t

So I cried

Many nights to myself

Wondering if there was something

I could have done differently

Truth is

Yea… but the end result most likely

Would have been the same

I do not hate or regret

I cherish and reflect

Because I gave love

It was honest and true

And it helped me to grow

Into another version of beautiful

Learned life lessons that I can apply

Whenever I decide to try

Again

And no matter what

No matter how difficult

I will believe in

Love after love…

Fin

Magic

You. Are. Magic.

You are Mysterious and Majestic

A rare being

A Legend living

A force to be reckoned with

Goddess and Queen

You are spiritual.

You are a cosmic entity

You are the elements

created in and with all the

Brilliance and energy

You are music

The written lyrics

The melody and harmony

You are vocals and all instrumentation

You are dance

Freedom

Joyous movements

Expression

Vibrant

Colorful

Gifted

Extraordinary

You. Are. Love

Wholesome

Amazing

Patient and kind

Forgiving

Daily forgiveness of self

For settling for less

You are peace

Moving within

The serenity of your being

You are light

Brightly glowing

like black girl magic

You lit and you the shit

Humbly walking

In your truth

You. Are. Magic.

Never allow anyone to tell you otherwise

I am. Part 1

I am woman

I am movement

Calm, soothing vibrations

Gently swaying back and forth

I am an inviting energy

Creative

Momentous

Surrounding everything with love

While spreading my light so others can shine

I am the embodiment of

I am

I am woman

Amazing and kind

Gentle and warm

Gangsta and real

I am Queen

Standing with my head held high

Walking in majesty

Rocking these purple locs

Cause

Royalty is written in my

DNA

My blueprint for living

My vision, my destiny

I am woman

Unearthed

Bringing forth light unto others

Allowing my gifts to uplift and shine

No longer sitting on the sidelines

No longer accepting less than

Because I am an expression

Of more

Always recognizing that

Always asserting that

I am deserving of more

Therefore I give unto myself

More

I am woman

Proud, Black, and Beautiful

I laugh, I cry, I sing, I pray,

Never allowing my crown

To be removed

I am woman

I am all that I am

And then some

I am enough

I am every vision of love

Because love lives in my being

It runs through my veins

It covers me

I am woman

I am movement

Calm and gangsta

Royalty and love

A moving force

A gentle touch

The sweetest smile

And warming hugs

I am woman.

Newness

i must admit..

i havent smiled.. like this..

in quite some time..

your energy

wraps around me

pulling me..

soo into you..

this new found..

this.. willingness to..

be open..

this..

ability..

to share with you..

secret things..

and you not.. judge me.

got me rethinking..some things.

cuz once upon a time..

i said..

i would never..

allow another to

get this close to me..

again.. breaking down..

all barriers.

getting deep beneath my skin..

you did that.

how..

i dont know.

but.. i dont mind..

its almost like.

u appeared..

just in the nick of time.

and i am tho.rough.ly..

enjoying..

these..

moments.. of…us..

these… moments of..

gaining trust..

these.. moments..

i wouldnt want to share them with anyone else..

thank you…

for..

the continued..

smiles.

Peace, Be Still!

I cannot sleep

Acid reflux and anxious thinking

Keep me

From resting

Gently

Sipping water

To ease the pain of

Acid

Creeping. Up. My.

Esophagus.

Attempting to pray

To quiet the anxious thinking

Because I did not debrief my crazy

And fear is trying to

Creep. Back. In

Unwilling to release its hold on me

Attempting to keep me in

Captivity

A prisoner of my own mind

Future tripping

Scared of the unknown

Afraid of… what if’s and

Fear knows that

So it taunts me with images

That cause me to question…

Me.

Causing me to react

In fear of… what if…

Rather than seeing clearly

The picture that is in front of me

The life that I am walking daily

Living in the present

Smiling in the present

Loving in the present

But fear… has reminded me of

What if’s…

and so now I am up…

attempting to pray silent prayers

To quiet out my crazy

To shut down the noisiness of

Fear

To challenge my faulty thinking

To stop myself of a spiral of anxious driven living.

To tell the anxious part of me

That it’s okay, we are okay. Chill the eff out.

To remind myself of who God is in me and that

He did not give me the spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind.

To be able to love out loud and live my life filled with purpose

I am praying for peace

For quieted thoughts and

Gentle reminders of the love that surrounds me

Because I no longer will allow

Fear to consume me…

to use and abuse me

To keep me from being happy and free

~ JJ Nicole

I am Dope

I am dope

I am that fly and that funky fresh

I am all that and then some

I am

More than you’d like to admit

My dopeness gets you lit

Gets you hype

And will set you right

And that’s when you realize

That my shine doesn’t

Dim. Your. Light

I am dope

A woman of brilliant mind

Use to be afraid of this shine

But God said that’s alright

So now I shine wherever I go

Glowing to help others grow

Moving and grooving

Perfecting this poetic flow

allowing my inner beauty to show

I am dope

Filled with beauty and wonder

Gifted and talented

I am kind and genuine

Authentic and amazing

Love is what I live and breathe

And in my dopeness

I am Queen

Royalty with an extra side a gangsta

so it’s best

To come correct

When you step to me

Approach me with respect and

I’ll offer reciprocity

I am dope

Full of flavor and pizzazz

I am hypnotic and enticing

And at times I am feisty

I am friend never foe

And in my eyes

Love is what I behold

I am dope

A spiritual movement

A helping hand

A healer

A lover

A poet

A creative

A mind glower

A giver of life

A body roller

A shoop shooer

A quiet smile

A calming touch

A support system

An inspirational being

A woman

Walking in the greatness

That lives in me..

Most of all

I am me

Embracing all of me

Sassy and classy

Moody and anxious

Often asking for forgiveness of flaws and faults

Imperfection in its greatest form

Human

But…

I. Am. Dope.

That’s all I can be..

Dope

My hope is to inspire

Love you past the point of where your pain begins and

Erase all evidence of it

The pain

See, I’ve felt pain unimaginable..

So I know what it feels like to

Love and lose

But I ask you, did you really lose if they weren’t for you

Anyway…

So open up to me…

Allow my kisses to move your beast

Let my hugs bring you daily afternoon smiles

And allow my touch to heal you

The words I speak from my mouth

May they ring truth upon your ears

For this is clear

I, I do love you. ..

I love you beyond these words I speak and sing…

I love you farther than the thought of invisibility…

You are king

So I treat you in that light…

Loving you is so tight

Dope…

It’s real and fresh

It’s this beautiful independent

Function of me

No need for thought or questioning

I just do it

Authentically automatic..

Loving you is a sign from God

That I am alive

That blood still runs through my veins

And pain no longer remains…

That I no longer have an arrhythmia of my heart

My lungs are no longer consumed with water from drowning in sorrow and tears..

Loving you erases my fears…

You enlighten and encourage me

Loving you has transformed my mental and spiritual being…

It has opened me up to believe in me…

It moves me to be a blessing to others

To walk in selflessness

To walk in the Light that God has blessed me with

Loving you has allowed me to see again

To release myself from the fortitude of darkness and free myself to light

To shine beyond the capacity of galaxial stars…

Loving you is an extension of loving myself

For you daily provide me with

All that I have desired over time

Friendship that exceeds limitations…

And complete acceptance of my being

You are inspiration

So my hope is to inspire

To move and breathe love

To create a new definition of

Love action…

Because loving you…

Is so dope…

That’s all I wanted to say…

Enough

You are enough

More than

And good

And although you are often misunderstood

Your light shines…

Even if you do not see it,

even if you cannot believe it

Believe this,

You are enough

Special in every kind of way

An energy of love, hope, peace, joy

Runs all through your veins

You are more than enough

So wear your smile

As your crown

Always walking with your

Head. Held. High.

Living your life on purpose

While walking in your purpose

You are good enough

So don’t you ever doubt

Your ability to be great

It’s time for you to

Shine. Out. Loud

You are enough

More than,

And good

Please never forget that.